Do you sometimes find yourself giving your utmost to help others, and then feeling betrayed? Do you consider yourself a compassionate caretaker who only wants the best for others, but is often under-appreciated for all you do, especially financially?
If so, you might be a Money Martyr – so let’s dig in and see if this is a Money Type that reflects your money patterns, and how to avoid the negative fallout that often results.
- Are you a perfectionist who also shares financial resources in a self-sacrificing way?
- Do you feel that you support others, but are unsupported in return?
Sometimes the giving patience of the Money Martyr turns to frustration as others fail to return the favor or to change their behaviors in ways believed to be best by the Martyr. Disappointment can develop. Resentment can build. And then, the long-suffering giver can become judgmental and even perhaps passive-aggressive.
And if subtle hints and reminders don’t work to influence the recipients of the Money Martyr’s generosity, the pressure can be laid on heavier, and the Martyr may even become manipulative or controlling. That sets up a painful dynamic of great generosity alternating with demanding negativity, and no one is happy with these interactions.
If you find yourself often rescuing others, and giving others more than you give yourself, perhaps ask yourself: Are you truly letting go of what you give?
If others often fail to live up to your expectations, are you placing your perfectionistic demands on others, as well as on yourself? Could you perhaps release suffering by releasing those demands on everyone, including you?
Money Martyrs have often experienced a history of being hurt by others, and must recognize that this is not their fault. But instead of letting go of that suffering, they cling to it and want to excessively control their own lives and those of others. The “Money Type Quiz“ can help determine how prominent the Martyr type is among your Money Types.
Being open to the exchange of giving and receiving can help a Money Martyr to share more freely and feel that every exchange is more equal and enjoyable. This could allow healing and a greater comfort with the self, reducing any impulse to deprive yourself, while also allowing you to give freely and purely for the joy of it. Giving would then be transformed: instead of stress, you could feel peace.
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